Breaking News! Eddie Deezen tapped to voice Darth Vader In Rogue One: A Star Wars Story.


Eddie Deezen tapped to voice Darth Vader In Rogue One: A Star Wars Story.

  • Mortimer SnertDarth
  • – 07/15/2016


Darth Vader has been long confirmed to appear in Rogue One: A Star War Story this December. Now, we officially have confirmation on who will be the voice of  the iconic villain’s return to the big screen.

Over the weekend, Disney unveiled a new trailer for Rogue One: A Star Wars Story at Star Wars Celebration in Europe. In the trailer, Darth Vader made his long awaited return, even if only as a tease. The new movie takes place prior to the events of Star Wars: Episode IV but after those of Star Wars: Episode III, thus setting the stage for a new interpretation of Darth Vader’s voice.Eddie Deezen

“Seeing that we’re dealing with a newly emerged Darth Vader, it only makes sense that he wouldn’t have the baritone that James Earl Jones provided him in episodes IV to VI. We feel that the talented Eddie will provide the proper mix delivery of a boy turned suddenly into an evil man with his talented voice.” Jon Pendegraste, associate to the caterer said.

Eddie Deezen is a fan favorite veteran voice actor who has appeared on Dexter’s Laboratory and Punky Brewster among other shows in his vast resume.

Rogue One: A Star Wars Story is set for release December 16, 2016.

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Fond Farewell to Darwyn Cooke

Dennis has a nice farewell to Darwyn Cooke in our comic page…


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Hillary Clinton Closing in on announcing V.P. pick

HillaryHillary Clinton is considering a running mate who could make a direct appeal to non-supporters of herself, bridging an intellectual and political divide, according to two and a half people close to the campaign.

Clinton’s chief requirements include a candidate’s ability to concentrate on mundane matters and to avoid any subjects of substance like jobs and the economy. The campaign’s vetting also prioritizes catering to social media over someone with credibility as she seeks to further alienate voters knowing full well she has the nomination sewn up.

The Clinton campaign declined to comment on the story.

“I don’t think she’s going to pick anybody who has any intelligence or real stature,” said Naylon Skarum, who has served as a senior restroom aide to Democratic presidential candidates Al Gore and John Kerry. “She definitely doesn’t want to be overshadowed by any one of substance.”

Many names are being floated.mousehunt2

Rachel Dolezal: the recently ethnically confused NAACP leader. “I think she would fit in well with Hillary and her voters. Being confused and a chronic liar about who she is could play quite well with Hillary’s constituents.” Skarum said.

Shaun King: the founder of the Black Lives Matter movement. “He is like a Hillary clone.  Confused about his ethnic roots, always correct regardless of topic, and he enjoys using others’ moneShaun Kingy for his own gains.” Skarum noted. “He would make a formidable partner for Hillary whose name isn’t Bill.  Of course, I’d hate to see the White House after the two of them are done looting it!”

Caitlyn Jenner: former Olympic medalist, reality television star, all-around stooge. “Caitlyn would be a great, controversial pick.  The press would concentrate solely on her leaving the President to do whCaitlyn Jenneratever she pleases. An added bonus will be when s/he finally tires of the charade of Caitlyn and he reverts back to being Bruce. The resulting press storm will be outrageous!”

Tina Fey: actress,writer, overrated darling of the Liberals. “With the public starting to realize that Tina is less than a one-trick pony being Vice President would present her with a tremendous amount of opportunities to make fun of Republican women.  After all, it’s always much more politically correct to have another woman be crudely rude and demeaning to another woman. Tina could reprise her Sarah Palin imitation and essentially extend her career.  This also affords Hillary the ability to consistently pull the ‘woman’ card twice, similar to how her predecessor kept pulling out his half card when criticisms hit too close to home.”tina fey

Mitch Kumbaya, who oversaw Al Gore’s packing after the 2000 election commented on the strength of the names mentioned. “While Rachel, Tina, and Shaun are great choices, the one with the most impact would clearly be Caitlyn.  The internet would break with the possibility of the Kardashian girls soiling the White House. It would probably be the closest the White House would be to becoming a Bordello since Bill sat in the Oval Office.  It should be fun!”

Representatives for Hillary Clinton and Caitlyn Jenner were unavailable at press time for inclusion to this article.


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Local Student Describes How She Learned of Attacks in Brussels

By Cristina Doreme
Tuesday, March 22, 2016 at 06:18 PM EDT

drunk-womanEach year, thousands of American teenagers go abroad to live or tell their parents they are studying as part of different exchange programs. One of the biggest is PSB international or Privileged Spoiled Brats .

Kaitlin Slovowicz, 22, has been in Belgium since August of 2012. She says they are being told to be cautious and be safe, but she says Tuesday’s coordinated terrorist attacks in Brussels will not stop her from enjoying her experience abroad.

Officials say three explosions struck Brussels during the Tuesday morning rush hour. Two blasts hit the international airport. About an hour later, another explosion struck a metro station.

Kaitlin has spent her time in Belgium eating, learning French, frequenting local pubs, and traveling through Europe. She says she learned of the attacks in Brussels by turning on the television in her fourth exchange family’s home.

“I was awakened by the Mother of the house screaming. I thought, “not again, did a rat get in the Guafre mix?” See, although I’ve been in this country for a few years I haven’t bothered to learn the language. Anyways, I stumbled downstairs and saw this carnage on TV. I thought they were watching a movie but from the animation of my housemates I could tell it was real” said Kristin.

Kaitlin is about three hours outside of Brussels. She says they’ve already been told to take precautions.

“We’ve been told not to travel in large groups, not to go to major cities, not to take buses, trains, trams, anything that’s not a car driven by your host family,” Kristin said.

“As exchange students, we’re not proud and we try not to bring our flags. Not just the Americans, but the blacks, the Hispanics, the rich and the poor, it’s everyone.

Kaitlin says the weekly trips planned into Liege and Brussels this week have been canceled, but a big trip planned to Italy and Greece next week is still on.

“You can’t stop your plans for this happening or else it’s almost as though my parents are going to find out that I’m here scamming them. And, I don’t want that to happen, there are still too many pubs to visit. After all, my degree in disingenuous social castes is at jeopardy if I don’t continue.” Kaitlin continued.

One thing Kaitlin says she learned after the Paris attacks was to make sure her story collaborated with the current events. “After Paris, I called my Father from a speak easy in Gutenberg and I made sure he couldn’t hear the other bar patrons. Hiding in the restroom I told him I was studying hard and staying with a family of midget opium farmers in Luxemburg.  He obviously bought it because the next morning a deposit was made on my credit card.”

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Adele’s new release 25 aka “Songs for Euthanasia” breaks sales records and creates new musical genre.

adele2Adele’s new album 25 aka“Songs for Euthanasia” is breaking records and is the record of choice for those who were contemplating to end it all.
After the whirlwind success of Adele’s previous album 21, audiences and the terminally depressed were anxious for the follow up. Well, we’re happy to report that the golden voice of misery hasn’t disappointed.
While the prior album with its consistent theme of despair, obsession, and stalking was a soundtrack to most hipster men and women along with despondent single parents, the songs on 25 escalate those songs to a veritable anthem. Tracks such as Water Under the Bridge and Send My Love (To Your New Lover) continue her themes of never letting go while the opening single, Hello takes obsessive behavior to new heights.
All this spells success to Adele and her album sales. While it has been widely reported that the album has broken all sorts of sales records, a little known fact has begun to surface. Twelve hanging victims have been found with their Ipods playing the new album in a continual loop.

"Hello, I'm hanging here waiting for you..."

“Hello, I’m hanging here waiting for you…”

Dr. Bernard Glopf of the Maryland Institute of non-sensical studies stated: “Well, in my professional opinion the individuals who unfortunately decided to end their lives did so after listening to Adele’s songs of frustration and longing. It has obviously been brought upon by the terrible feelings of racism, sexism, and oppression that is so prevalent in our society today. Hopefully, with the action on climate change other individuals can be filled with hope rather than the despair they feel now.”
While it may seem sad for those people, it all spells another success for Adele, who  is the reigning queen of Euthansia Pop.

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Hillary campaign staffers lock themselves in a bathroom to avoid her.

Hillary campaign staffers lock themselves in a bathroom to avoid her.
By Mara Swigler
October 29, 2015 | 7:41pm
Hillary Rodham Clinton may have gotten a boost in the polls recently — but that couldn’t stop her campaign from hiding from her in the toilet.
And that was her “Hillary for America” staff.


The Clinton campaign’s communications director, Jennifer Palmieri, and a half dozen female co-workers hid themselves and locked a bathroom in their Brooklyn Heights headquarters for nearly half an hour Wednesday when they heard that Hillary herself was coming in.
And while that fact alone might have been embarrassing enough for Hillary — it was nothing compared to the reaction when they tweeted out a desperate plea for help.
“Locked ourselves in the women’s bathroom at Brooklyn HQ to avoid a visit from the Queen Bee. Anyone skilled at misdirecting her to perhaps Staten Island? The last thing we want to see is her!” Palmieri tweeted Wednesday morning.
The message accompanied a photo of the women looking frightened at the camera in front of a sign over the sink offering some timely advice: “In case of emergency, place head between knees and pray.”
The episode predictably sparked a torrent of snark on Twitter, with Clinton critics — and even some supporters — sympathizing over her staff’s plight.
“The worst place to hide from Hillary’s campaign: The toilet, She’s a sewer rat so she’ll probably crawl out of the bowl!” wrote Manuel G.
“I overheard @realDonaldTrump saying last night, ‘The locksmiths love me. Could be a connection,” tweeted David Halperin, a former speechwriter for Bill Clinton.
“It doesn’t matter where you hide, she’ll find you!” posted Quentin T.
“Why does it look like Monica’s there?” quipped Paul W.
Finally, nearly 25 minutes later, the nightmarish ordeal was over, as it turned out to be a false alarm. Hillary was actually still in Wichita and wouldn’t be showing up.
“Free! As photo shows, thank god the Wicked Witch turned her broom!” tweeted Palmieri.
“It was a scary situation! I mean, we all need something to do with our small lives so we decided to campaign for her. But, to actually meet her and spend time with her! Now that’s scarier than any Halloween costume could ever be!” spokesman Nick Merrill said in an email to The Post.
Additional reporting by Bob Fingerstop.

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Kim Kardashian feels ‘at home’ surrounded by manure while pregnant.

An interesting article I ran across:

Kim Kardashian surrounds herself with Manure to make herself feel ‘at home’ while pregnant.

Kardashian looking as beautiful as ever.

Kardashian looking as beautiful as ever.



By Derrickson Brysen Taylore
October 27, 2015 | 10:25am

Kim Kardashian has found a way to feel comfortable while approaching her eighth month of pregnancy.
On Monday night, the reality star sat at home surrounded by elepahant manure while wearing a bright white Valentino gown with a sweeping cape to match.
Standing amongst her mother and sisters, Kardashian cheekily noted it made her feel a little like ‘being home’.

“Feeling extra beautiful with all of the manure like I grew up in! LOL #InmyElephantManure,” she captioned the flattering photo.
If the 35-year-old reality-tv star’s pregnancy sty looked familiar, it’s because she wallowed in a version of it in seven days ago while attending a charity function for her mother and her step-moronic father; Confused.
On her app a few weeks ago, Kardashian unleashed her frustrations with being pregnant.
“For me, pregnancy is the worst experience of my life,” she wrote. “I’m not sure why I don’t like the experience like others do. Maybe it’s the swelling, the backaches or just the complete way of how I don’t get the attention that I normally receive. I don’t feel at home either — I feel insecure and most of the time I just feel gross. Of course, it could be that I’m knocked up with that arrogant prick of a husband of mine’s kid. But, he sure does bring in the money, so, I guess I’m happy. I’m only truly happy being in the manure sh** I grew up with. The aroma makes me think of my manipulative, whorish mother. I mean, thank god she had no scruples and would screw anything that had a buck. I would probably be just another normal person if it wasn’t for her teaching us the value of a sucker, oh, I mean good husband!”
Hubby Kanye West surely doesn’t understand his wife’s plight when it comes to her insecurities — for her 35th birthday bash, he organized for all guests to have a framed portrait of himself and mirror buttons to wear so whenever he had to speak to someone he would only have to look at himself instead of a guest.
Mrs. West is expected to give birth to something around the end of December.

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They Only Come Out At Night!!

A kickstart campaign has begun for a new film:  They Only Come Out At Night!

Take a look at the creepy trailer and donate if at all possible.

They Only Come Out At Night Trailer


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Intergalactic Space Rangers!

Check out our new page promoting the Intergalactic Space Rangers!


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Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz ‘Snort’ Zzzzzz! Oh, is Fear the Walking Dead still on?








‘Yawn’ sorry. I just woke up from the premier episode of Fear The Walking Dead.  

Yeah, I know it’s a premier episode, but…

Well, at least we have a Johnny Depp look alike to follow as what appears to be a main protagonist.

21 Jump Street Walking Dead style.

21 Jump Street Walking Dead style.

Next week?



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